Right now, I'm contemplating on my life. I know, this is not normal for me. I usually go out on my own, with my friends and hell, i don't even care on what other people say about me. It's their opinion, and i believe that it is none of my business. During the course of my life, i realized that happiness and contentment goes along. Just like what other people say, "Just enjoy what you are doing, and all the rest follows". But what if your happy with what you are doing but the truth is your on the wrong track?! Would you still hold on to what makes you smile? Would you numb yourself from the fact that your dumb stupid? Stupid just for the sake of being happy?! It is like staying out in the rain, it feels so good, but defenitely it will make you sick. Right now, I'm thinking of having a decision. It kills me.

NURSING BOARDS EXAM RESULTS out! :3 and i passed! YAHOO! :3 i owe this to God. grabe, answered prayer talaga ito. the exam was harder than expected, but 70% of mamc-avant garde made it. i'm so damn proud of my alma mater. i don't conmsider this as "chamba".. we deserve it, i know, seriously! compared with other schools, mamc got a very nice rate standing... :3 yahoo.. for sure, naloloka na ang college of nursing sa mamc. hay! :3 after the long wait, the results went out just right. and i'm so thankful that most of us passed! see you guys on october 2! oathtaking, that is! my gala uniform is not yet fixed, goodness!! but i'm super duper excited! advance happy birthday gift for me! but of course, there were some people who didn't make it. and it hurts because some people are close to us.. :'8 i know how they are feeling right now, naganticipatory grieving na ata ako before!... but hey! i believe that God has a major plan for everyone.. :] more than what you expected to be, right? so let's count the blessings!
plans plans? well, i'm busy working on my student visa to italy. now that i made it in local boards, i'm planning to have my masteral degree in italy. master of arts in nursing! :3 i hope it's God's will! :3 bless me..

Heroes day today :3 make the most of it. i have my work later, aha! double pay, it is! :3 i miss my college friends aka dhung and dhays! :[ i miss our hang outs and fun moments. hay! grabe, gusto ko na sila makita ulit :3 heniweiz, i think i'm a freak! i almost slept 14 hours! bangag na nga ata ako.. but it feels good.. super well rested! :] much work to do later. when i woke up, nabasa ko ang text sa akin ni Raymond Dhung.. "Dhay, alam ko masyado kang busy. Magpahinga ka naman.". Well, sobrang natouch ako sa text nia.. and i realized that i should rest too. hehe :3 namiss ko tuloy ang mga kaibigan ko. anyhow, i know we'll be seeing each other again. can't wait to see them! :3

happy moments! :3

ciao everyone! :] got a long day sleep... this week is kinda weird for me. i'm livin' like a vampire! and i love it.. i've been so damn busy and i find it hard to get some time with my self. go shopping, pampering myself, it sucks. really! but when monetary stuff enters in, that's different. i was like counting days before the next salary will be. and that motivates me.. that is what you call "money hunger"... it's like i'm living independently now. i'm spending my own money. i need to budget everything, as in, budget my daily allowances up to my "vices" and "vanity stuffs"... and i'm working on it.. i hope i'm doing it right.. :] Bless me.. :]
i'm working on my Italian visa application. i really gotta go with my mom! :] more money, more opportunity and experience. that's why i'm graving for it. it is a student visa. so i don't have to worry much of the requirements! everything will be my mom's responsibility.. :] i'm so damn excited... yeahyeah! :]

foto chits! coming...

holla! sunday, it is! jem is so damn happy! the 10-day foundation training is now over. and the whole 3-10 pioneeers made it. we all passed! yahoo! :] and so, we can proceed to the much harder step, an extremely complicated phase, [tadah] product training! we will be moving to the other building. next to taipan, the PT will be in Prestige Pent House.. :] and i need more powers this time! i can do it!our sked was also changed! it will be 10pm to 7am this coming week. hell right? hope it'll be fun.. hope so :]

heniweiz, the tension in nursing board exams is rising! results will be out by august 15 or 17, according to hearsays. :[ very scary though.the eaxm was twice harder than expected. i did my best during the exam, and i know that whatever the results will be, God still has this great plan in stored for me. So, God's will be done.

later tonight, we'll be hitting trinoma :] been there for 3xs already. the place was like the typical ayala malls. very nice! :] i'm planning to buy something.. eniweiz, mom gave us extra budget for shopping purposes :]

olrytie, it's saturday people! It's so damn boring, really!:] the week that had past was described as the "turtle week", and i just don't know why.. :] im so damn busy with my foundation training... well, training is fun, but not quite. it's like we were doing activities for 8 hours and other funny stuffs. far from my expectations. hope i'll pass the FT for me to proceed to the next step. anyhow, about the people in my class, i find them great and friendly. :] i never had a hard time dealing with these people even they are 2 to 3 years older than i am. hehe.
okay okay okay, moving along, i heard that august 15 will be the judgement day! :] the releasing of the 2007 june nursing boards results! and AMOF there were only 40 thousand examinees passed the exam. almost half of the examinees failed. and that's awful! :[ very frightening! early this morning i texted my friends about this, and they were like scared just like me! well, i know God was with me that time when i was answering the whole exam thing! that's why i need to be confident. just continue praing for me guys! :] oryt?
so, i need to end up my journal now. till' next time! ciao! :]

Sunday is my day.. Aww.. I'm missing 2 special people in my life, but hey! i'm not gloomy today.. :] okay, my day is better than before, i woke up at 7:30 in the morning. i got 7 hours of sleep,hmm,sufficient indeed!! :], had my full breakfast and tadah.. may personal vice, The Internet Hopping!! last night i was supposed to enter a post in my dashboard. but! but! somebody got my fuckin' attention.. the poser, the copycat and the insecure girl. i don't really know her personally, but she got the hell out of me! PAINTBOX.COM? ADOBEPHOTOSHOP DESKTOP SCREENSHOT WITH PICTURES EKLAVOO? watthefuck! :] Stolen ideas, kawawang nilalang, such a nutshell, [toktoktok].. hope she's get tired of it eventually.. anyhow, the "Eyes of Magdalene" Group is out! nah.. big thanks to Mac who gave the group it's voluptuous name! mac is really a real and cool friends of mine. i love this girl a lot... bakal ito, pareho kami.. hehe.. kidding aside she's really admirable!! :]

howdy?$#@ i'm hella super duper emotional today!! and i'm hating it... it's a killer. i mean, he's not really mine. but why am i acting like his gf?? wtf di ba? teh fact that we are not commited i think it's wrong to feel this way. we only see each other twice or even once a week...he's so damn busy with his student life! and it cracks me. really!! in a very wrong way... it sucks!!!
anyhow, i'll be starting my call center job next week.. hey! i'm employed! rejoice people.. :] hehe.. and alast i'll be very busy, no time to be uber emotional... xet xet xet!! :]
wish me luck guys.. thanks for droppin' by :]

Different connotations. It's quite frustrating having to watch what you say because every other word has different connotations. Homonyms frustrate me as well. Yes, these are the words that sound the same but have totally different meanings. We should all walk around with a monitor on our chest to caption every single thing we say. While we're at it, we should have a disclaimer ready in case someone misunderstands our intended rhetoric. Or maybe I should have a sign on me at all times that says, "Not really meant for you." There are times when I write on a topic that may be out of character. Usually, when I do, I write from a neutral person's perspective. Just because I haven't experienced that specific event doesn't mean that I haven't been around those that have and seen the damage. I don't want to have to censor every entry I write because someone might feel insulted. If you feel like my post is directed towards you, it's probably because you're guilty. You should be.

PSALM 27 : 11-12 Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. Whom shall I fear? I have so much respect for those who seem like they have every right to be angry at God yet continue to worship him. I heard a minister read this verse at the hospital during my shift the other day. I couldn't help but smile.

With all the recent discoveries of my post-adolescent years standing on the pre-adult plateau, I needed something like that to slap me back into reality. I really shouldn't even take anything to heart because there are those who will continue to "breathe out cruelty" on me. All I can do is take it in stride and give it to Him. It's up to Him as to what the repercussions will be in the long run.

I've always been one to take criticism to heart. I'm so quick to give it, but when it comes back to me, I crawl up into a ball and question myself. Once I've had enough time to do so, that's when I fight back. Re-energized, I'll attack with so much vengeance and resentment, which just makes the situation even worse because all the issues come out at once -- no holds barred. Attacking without much thought.

I can't please everyone. It's such a difficult task to do. All I can do is live life in accordance to how I think it should be lived. Someone always tells me, "You know the difference between right and wrong." I do. It's just difficult when there are those who try to take me down and succeed in doing so by "breaking the rules." It makes me frustrated that they've done something to me while breaking the rules and continue to get away with it. That's when I realized that it's not up to me to judge and punish their acts. It's up to Him. All I can do is believe, toughen up, and take whatever is thrown my way.

I continue to struggle on a daily basis though because of the trials that I've had to go through dealing with forgiveness and learning to overlook hurtful words and actions directed towards me. Slowly, but surely, I've learned to accept things the way they've been dealt to me. With a few cliches learned, nothing is ever quite as it seems, it's easier to forgive than forget, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, I'm just living life and learning more each day.

okey okey okey, at last, i made my latest post. aha!! :] well, things are happening fine for me now.. [haha, unlike before], i will be starting my job this 23th and i'm not that excited... why??? i just don't know. i was excited before but things are different now. i mean, i realized that this is life, take it more serious baby!! i miss schooling, really!! :[ i wanted to kick back to school. i missed the old faces there, the cramming moments and the problematic days. i just wish i could go back to those days.. :] anyhow, life is like that!! just face okey?? this is not a blog-worthy post, well, anyway, nothing!!! :] have a happy fuckin' day!!

this is not something i consider blog-worthy... oh well..

*beep*beep* one text message received.

for a second there i sort of wished it was you.. it wasn't. but life goes on.. i'll keep on walking until something, someone, or some weird phenomenon makes me stop for a while..

"but why am i the only one standing stranded on the same ground?" -Kitchie Nadal

i'm not happy.. and i how happiness finds me. i'm dying.. [huhuh] i'm such a stupid ass, i'm good i know but why do i feel this way.. i feel like i'm a mess.. crap!!

i'm feelin' bad lately, i don't know why.. [weird eh?] it's like a depressive syndrome or whatever... maybe it is just a result of a typical hormonal balance happening in women... i'm busy digging my forums & thank God, i'm starting to get over something... ngayon pa lang, nakikinita ko na na after the board exam, i will be very busy surfing the net... well, nothing much to say.. i'm just updating this damn blog.. thanks for reading this anyway.. ciao!!
camwhoring is ON:

i believe that in loving someone, it just end up in 2 ways, the happy and the sad endings. hard to say, some love relationship just end up nothing. after a long time of laughters and fun, ups and downs, relationships fall and the bad thing about it is that, is hard to rebuild it again.
it's hard to severed the heart who cares for you a lot for the heart might soon get tired and can't endure it no more! yes, it's true that a true heart can withstand any obstacles and can go on even if it hurts. but when the heart gets tired and realizes that the one it cares for doesn't even care about it all... it might lose its feelings and change it's resolve!

weee, out of the great boredom, i've made a simple wallpaper. haha, it was my 2nd time to make like this. [to check it out, try to visit my dA]...

*mwua*

lemme see, it's election day tomorrow, and since i'm not a registered voter [i'm such a kiskass ohh my!], i can't practice my right to vote. but, let's just assume okey? i'm planning to vote for [only] 3 senators whom i really admire:

first, Loren Legarda, an opposition, such a great and smart woman. she knows to fight for what she think is right. and in the first place, gogogogo girl power!
second, Joker Arroyo, the poeple's dragon, that's what they call him. i'am really amazed by the laws he had proclamed and everything. really a great and awesome leader.
and lastly third, Trillanes, he was imprisoned because of rebellion, but still i believe that he has something and a potential to become a good leader.
i won't vote for anything else. hehe, but sorry for these guys, they will miss a vote from me. wahaha!!! let's just hope that tomorrow's election will be peaceful.. Godbless our country. hey! i'm proud to be pinay!! yahooooo.. :]

gracious! it's mother's day tomoro.. and whew, can't great my mom personally. how sad.
the day after tonight, is gonna be big! wahaha, i mean big, in a sense that i really have to make a big move!! need to rush on studying for the local boards. it's such a stress, but G i'm so excited! i miss my studying habits when i was still in my lower college years, were in waking up 3am and browsing, memorizing notes is such a habit.
well, now, i'm missing someone. and gosh, i miss him a lot. i just don't know why and how but i do. special feelings are still there and it can't be taken away so easily. and i hope he misses me too, just as i do. [huhuhu..]

til' next time dudes.

well, i thank God! i'm almost finish with my requirements and in a short while i'll be goin' to apply.. geezzz, this is it! here the board exam goes... and so we have to make it... so God bless us! <3

let me see.. hmmmkay, yeah and my whole groovy family got that cool swimming escape. we really had fun, eventhough we just stayed there for about 3hours. [haha].. it was like i was relieved of everything, the stress and all that, burdens and stuffs.. the board exams is a great stressor, and if u can't carry the feeling, it will screw you to death. i mean, i wasn't ready yet to take the board exam. it was like i'm very busy all this time rushing through my requirements. sick! and so my mom told me that i should decide whether i would take it or not. all the decision is up to me... [hehe] and now i'm thinking if i would continue with it... im glad i have supportive family, very understanding. thank God! and i dunno yet what to do.. so i'm asking God to enlighten me. that's all.. till' next time!! ciao ciao! <3>ured moments.VILLA FELICIDAD, is great!

it's me again. i woke up at 6:15 in the morning. geezzz and i feel relieved. i was like dying the whole day yesterday. my migraine is killing me, and i hate it. my mom told me to wear my eyeglasses,because she thinks that my headache is because of my eyes, but hey, it sucks. i feel like i'm uber ugly and weird.. and so i decided not to use it. [hehe].. yesterday, we went to novaliches and the fuckin' heat of manila killed us. it was like we are travellin' through the desert island. nakakamatay!! i wasn't able to attend the revu for about 3days. but i promise to "make bawi" of everything. i'm going to finish half of volume 1.. hehe.. i'm at the 1/4 of the book... go jem!
tomoro i'll be heading back to manila... please pray for me! see yah! <3